Time flies

March....April..May...3 months. Time really flies so fast.

It's June now. Finally I'm done with CMS. There are moments which is bitter sweet, when people are with you for 5 months, some of them need to go back to England and other places, everyone is moving apart.
I had been trying my ass off to see which way I got get a working permit.

Well I know its hard due I don't have experience in the states for the industry. Even the director of CMS said it won't happen. Yeah that torn my heart apart. It's not I don't love my country, it is just I don't feel going back. I know myself that I won't want to go back before trying out here. All I can do it just do whatever I can and hope for the best. If not, October I'm going back.

I even thought of working in other asia countries like Singapore, Taiwan or Hong Kong. It's not easy too.
I'm just bored with Malaysia. Yeah of course I missed friends and families. it's just...I don't know i guess Im running away from something.

For the time being in Los Angeles, I enjoyed the lifestyle here. Yeah It sucks for international about the visa and stuff. Someone even propose a marriage proposal to me so I can get a green card and stay. But that is not I want it. I want to use my own way instead of just find anyone to get married. Ahh...stress of a lot of stuff.

I think I start to lose my way. I can't see my future in this industry. I felt im not knowledgeable enough. What if i go back, what will i do? I just can't see it. I can't see im earning or anything. oh God.. Losing myself.